New musings...

So I'm back at it, little by little. I try to do it in small doses because it's really easy to get sucked up and sucked in. I've stumbled upon (not literally, though that is a possibility) a nifty little website that is extremely helpful when thinking about some of the more quirky, fun, non-traditional, yet practical ways to have a wonderful wedding. I've been thinking more and more about the different aspects of the wedding and I'm able to picture it a little bit better now, though not completely. There are a few things that Ben and I have been discussing:
a: iPod DJ. This means we aren't hiring a DJ...and it also means that we'll hear all of the music we want to hear and none of the music we don't (i.e. Stevie Nicks*/Country) - idea taken from the aforementioned website (as are quite a few of my musings.)
b. a different wedding reception site that is not your typical Southern Illinois fare - which means, perhaps, maybe, possibly getting out of a VFW/KFC/Auxiliary hall and into someplace that is more suited to Ben and me. The only A few of the problems are:
- limited radius of travel : we have quite a few older folks who may be attending this wedding. I'm not trying to make a whole group of people scurry into St. Louis.
- money: things cost money. period. nicer things cost more money.
- number of people: IDEALLY the wedding reception would be someplace artsy and somewhat intimate..but when you have quite a few attending, intimate quickly becomes stifling.
UGH. I just want someplace cool, hipster (*gasp, yes I said it*), trendy, quirky, fun, interesting,...you get the idea. I want a place that reflects who Ben and I are as a couple. (which is really what I want the whole wedding to be, hence the egalitarian nature/feminist leanings).
c. unique ideas for guestbook things: SO on this website I mentioned, there was this post about a photographer - actually there are lots of posts about lots of photographers** but this isn't about the photographer. This is about something that was the subject of a photo. The intercultural wedding that the photographer was taking pictures have utilized a watercolor painting of a tree (similar to something one might see in Chinese culture) and had their guests leave finger/thumb prints as the leaves of the tree. I don't think they had people signing by their finger/thumbprints but I think that would also be an interesting addition. I like this idea because I like the idea of having something that we could hang up and have around all the time as opposed to only a guest book (which I still like as well, for those priceless pieces of information that they are filled with) which would only be brought out once or twice and maybe later for posterity reasons. This painting idea is also pretty reflective of how I think about the people who will be invited to the wedding - they are all people who have left or are continuing to leave thumbprint on my mind and heart. (Isn't that just cheese-tastic!)
d. A LITTLE BIT of dresses. NOT MUCH. I'm not quite ready for that step yet, but we have been talking about it. We're planning a July wedding (thus far) and it probably gonna be HOT. Granted, we'll be inside. Still, I don't wanna sweat at all in that dress. for personal reasons. like I don't like sweat dripping into places it shouldn't. That's just nasty. So I'm weighing my options. and thinking about how I perhaps want to take a little bit of the tradition out of that, as well.
e. Good news: I've found a couple of options for photogs maybe. hopefully. Ones that may work within our budget and do the kind of work I want. HUZZAH!
It's interesting to me how when I have a bit of free time (i.e. Summer break) my mind drifts to this wedding stuff even though we still have TWO YEARS and there are things that are much more pressing at hand - for instance, us moving in two MONTHS. I have a whole new planning space that I should be planning out and I should be playing interior designer now. And I am, a little. But it always drifts back to the wedding. which in some ways is disappointing. I'm antsy and a little sad that it is so far away, though I know that I would be ten times worse with my mind preoccupation if it were any closer. Part of me want to just go to the courthouse but I know that I would miss that family/friends presence. I think that's the part that excites me more than anything (besides the photographer capturing the day) is knowing that this is something I get to share with the people I love the most. I'm so sentimental, sometimes.
Oh well. It'll all come together. It has thus far. And things keep changing. Who knows, maybe one day there will be a blog that says SURPRISE, WE'RE MARRIED - but don't count on it. I've got checks and balances to my madness, I promise.

* Stevie Nicks (aside from Fleetwood Mac) has a voice that grates my eardrums and has the potential to make them bleed. She sounds like a lamb (to quote Kara from AI...**deepsigh**) and it bugs the hell out of me. There will be no Stevie Nicks so for those of you who thought you were going to hear "Landslide"..sorry, find another wedding.
**Have I mentioned how much I love wedding photography. Perhaps once or twice.

That's it for now, everyone. Happy musings.


Life Changing events

Well, we're graduated (mostly)! It was a pretty intense weekend full of caps, gowns, tassels, pictures, and traditions. I was reminded why I don't want a traditional wedding - it's BORING. haha, but it was fun, and I got to see my papa and one of my brothers. My mama and the grandparentals came up Saturday which was wonderful. I really love my family (when they are separate...the wedding is going to be a whole other story).

So I say we graduated mostly because Ben is still taking another class. He's finishing up his business minor this summer and then he'll be completely done. Luckily he'll have a few weeks of break before we have to pack up and head south to our new abode.

Turns out, I graduated with High Distinction from GWS which is pretty exciting. It hasn't really hit me yet that I'm done with undergrad. I imagine it won't happen til I move, but I figured I could do some thanks and such now...because it is official and all.

So first off, thanks to my mama. She's been my rock these past four years, from her driving 2.5 hours on a random Saturday morning to get coffee with me because I missed her so much to helping us move and everything in between. I've talked to her nearly everyday of this journey and she always knew what to say (and sometimes what not to say). Even though neither one of was really sure what we were getting into, we both made it and sometimes (only sometimes) I think she deserves the diploma just as much as I do (then I remember all the papers I wrote...and I think otherwise..;)...haha)

Then comes Ben: Ben has definitely been here for me all along. Sometimes it seems amazing and surreal that we've made it this far together. When a lot of people aren't even starting their lives together until now, it seems like we've lived a lifetime. seriously...and we aren't even married yet (as if you didn't know). I don't know that I can even begin to thank him enough for all he's done for me.

Then to my campus family:
Anna, my love: I would be long gone if it weren't for her. legit. While we've only been besties for about 2 years..it almost seems like 20. There's never a moment I won't/can't/don't share with her. Her family has taken me with the greatest hospitality. Our family dinners are reminiscent of my family dinners back home and our few heart-to-hearts were also much needed and always helpful. Luckily, this lady is one of my bridesmaids so I'll have plenty of excuses to see her after we graduate. (which is good because if I didn't, I would just have to make up excuses).

Courtney, babe! Even though she's not on campus, we've been there for each other the whole time...seriously through some of the toughest stuff people can go through. And we made it. Plus, now SHE'S engaged, too. Whoa..it's like we're growing up and becoming adults or something (which, by the way, I'm morally opposed to and refuse to do. It's in complete contradiction of my life goals, which include being a kid forever). I'm looking forward to moving back home so we can get back into the swing of things and start a crazy adventure of whatever comes next.

Joshua, he's the guy that I didn't have to talk to but once or twice a semester, but when we did see each other, it was the most fun, relaxing, crazy, awesome, lovely, at-home feeling ever. He was always the release I needed. As he once said "Our friendship is like riding a bike, we never miss a beat." - or something that was equally touching, if not confusing. he's like the brother that...well, I had..but didn't have. He's like another brother. yeah. that's it.

Jim...always keeping me on my toes. All the time.Which is good. and hilarious. I love him. I have always loved him. Since 4th grade when we became best friends..and have remained ever since (which is an intensely long relationship, btw.) I've said all I've needed to say to him over the years..and it's all true. and still holds true. And he knows it.

The rest of my extended family (new and old) - BSue, Katie, RaRa, Michelle, Megan, Bethany, JennScott (oneword), and all those you other wonderful WONDERFUL people - just a general thank you for writing on my facebook wall and giving me something to smile about. For having a personality that keeps me happy. For allowing me surround myself with positivity. And for keeping me on my game.

finally, my mentors:
Ross... I joke that he has single handedly changed my 4 year plan. And actually, it's not a joke. It's true. hardcore style. From the moment I met him, I knew that I was about to embark on something excited (which is what FYCARE was). And then he proceeded to believe in me enough to open up a plethora of opportunities from leading a crusade to get a women's center to getting FOIA'ed, from being nominated and selected for the excellence in leadership award to working on my ally skills and becoming a voice of social justice. I actually don't know what I would be doing with my life if I hadn't met him. I would probably be doing something that I hate doing in psychology, being anti-social, and perhaps not even on this campus. I think I can also speak for Ben when I say he has been a huge mentor in Ben's life as well. Our relationship is healthier because of some of the ideas that Ross introduced and we are both better people for it. I definitely would not be the force to be reckoned with that I am now. and you can stick that in your email and FOIA it!

Teryl ...I'm sorta sad that we just got to start working together the last semester of college, but she's definitely been my mama here on campus. I know that I can go be safe in her office. I can bitch about my day...and it's likely that she's having a similar issue. She takes care of me and makes sure that everything is going well...something I need every now and again.

Professor Gill...I only had her 2 semesters but she was perhaps the most interesting, fun-loving, and encouraging professor I've ever had. She did for me in my last 2 years what professor Pintar did for me my freshman year: she inspired me to be critical.

Clearly this is not everyone who has had an awesome impact on my life..but right now (literally in this moment) I'm feeling particularly grateful to these people. More than half of these people don't actually read my blog and for those of you reading for the purposes of figuring out what a feminist wedding looks like, I'm sorry that I've been on hiatus from wedding plan (though I have started looking at wedding dresses and figuring out what I want to do with that - traditional white, non-traditional, ball gown, wedding gowns, fun summer dress..the option are endless). For those of you who DO read this blog and if you know ANY of the people I've mentioned, you should consider yourself fortunate. Extremely fortunate. Like you should tell them how grateful you are to know them because these are awesome people.

If you are one of the people who I mentioned and read this blog, thanks again, from the bottom of my heart. You clearly make my world and I owe at least part of my success to you.

For now, until more wedding news (which may be some dress ideas as well as some ideas for receptions and things), good night and count your blessing..i've counted a few of mine.