Welp. I've completed my master's program. In two weeks, I'll walk across a stage, again, receive a diploma {cover}, get hooded, shake hands, and probably cry. I'll put three letters at the end of my signature (all the time) and I'll feel successful. Well, almost. I've got a little birdie in my ear that keeps saying "Kayt, what you really want is a PhD." And I just keep flicking it away...because I need a break. I'm pretty mentally and emotionally exhausted. Especially after the past few months. So I'm looking forward to May 18th.
But I'm not looking forward to the inevitable good-byes which seem to be starting all too soon. I don't deal well with separation. At all. Partly because I think that I love a bit too fiercely for my own good. And partly because, well, my life has been filled with all sorts of untimely separations. And my feelings get hurt a bit too easily, probably. Which is why I keep saying that I'm just going to collect all of my people and keep them with me. All of the time.
It probably doesn't help that there is just the large UNKNOWN looming in front of me. The type of unknown that begs the question: was it worth it? and did you make the right decision two years ago? I feel REALLY GOOD about where I am right now. But sometimes I don't feel so good. Like when I think about how maybe I should've gotten a masters in higher education. or something like that. But I am where I need to be. I trust in that.
So for now, I'm going to read some books that I borrowed from the library/books I've been waiting to read for awhile.* And I'm going to be okay with where I am. Because one day, things that need to happen, will happen. and I'll be okay then...
*Books are:
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
Jazz - Toni Morrison
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Jonathan Safran Foer
Atypical: Life with Asperger's in 20 1/3 Chapters - Jesse Saperstein
The Whipping Girl: Julia Serano
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