See You Laters

I had started to write a post that was a bit reflective, a bit sad, a bit thankful, and perhaps a bit whiny. And it felt wrong. I've been thinking about how I want to reflect on my last two years, the wonderful people I've met, and what I think I've accomplished. 

I have a lot to be thankful for and the last couple of days have reiterated that. I've had two best friends leave me for New York in a 3 day period, not to mention the other friends that have left/moved on to do awesome things which I have been sad about but I'm realizing now that I am one lucky person to know these people.

I feel like I've hit the jackpot of best friends - I have a best friend from each stage of my life that I still consider my best friend, plus I married one of them. How awesome is that?

My elementary school best friend is hanging out in Spain, being a cultural ambassador! My middle school bff has twin girls that I get to watch grow up. I married my first hs bff and he's going to be an amazing dentist. My second high school bff is going to be an AWESOME teacher. My undergrad bff is getting her doctorate. And now my grad school bff has just moved to NYC to be an awesome social worker. I could not have planned to surround myself with better people.

I question the decisions that I've made in life, sometimes, but when I've had the opportunities to meet the people I have met and to form the relationships and mentorships that I have, I know that I made all of the best decisions for me.

When I talk about how I am simply a social construction, I mean that my gender, my race, my sexual orientation are all determined by what society had created. But I also hope that I am constructed by those I surround myself. I only surround myself with people who encourage me, who make me a better person, and who challenge me in constructive and helpful ways.

So to my best friends, thank you. and I love you all with every fiber of my being.

and to those who have been there with me along the way these past two years, thank you. it's been a ride.



Welp. I've completed my master's program. In two weeks, I'll walk across a stage, again, receive a diploma {cover}, get hooded, shake hands, and probably cry. I'll put three letters at the end of my signature (all the time) and I'll feel successful. Well, almost. I've got a little birdie in my ear that keeps saying "Kayt, what you really want is a PhD." And I just keep flicking it away...because I need a break. I'm pretty mentally and emotionally exhausted. Especially after the past few months. So I'm looking forward to May 18th.

But I'm not looking forward to the inevitable good-byes which seem to be starting all too soon. I don't deal well  with separation. At all. Partly because I think that I love a bit too fiercely for my own good. And partly because, well, my life has been filled with all sorts of untimely separations. And my feelings get hurt a bit too easily, probably. Which is why I keep saying that I'm just going to collect all of my people and keep them with me. All of the time.

It probably doesn't help that there is just the large UNKNOWN looming in front of me. The type of unknown that begs the question: was it worth it? and did you make the right decision two years ago? I feel REALLY GOOD about where I am right now. But sometimes I don't feel so good. Like when I think about how maybe I should've gotten a masters in higher education. or something like that. But I am where I need to be. I trust in that.

So for now, I'm going to read some books that I borrowed from the library/books I've been waiting to read for awhile.* And I'm going to be okay with where I am. Because one day, things that need to happen, will happen. and I'll be okay then...

*Books are:
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
Jazz - Toni Morrison
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Jonathan Safran Foer
Atypical: Life with Asperger's in 20 1/3 Chapters - Jesse Saperstein
The Whipping Girl: Julia Serano


Remember that one time I said I was going to blog more?

Oops. Welp. Life happened and I didn't. And perhaps it's life that should make me want to blog more...but often times life leaves me at a loss for words (yes, it really can happen). 

Things that have happened since January in no particular order:
1. Ben and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary of being "Ben and Kaytlin." (March 20)
2. I got new glasses:
3. Grandpa has been in and out of the hospital.
4. My really good friends are getting married next year and I'm their unofficial official wedding planner/mistress of ceremonies
5. I've applied to 8 jobs seeing as I graduate in less than 7 weeks. Eep.
6. I wrote a wedding graduate post for A Practical Wedding about how feminism made our wedding awesome. And it was a really awesome experience for me, regardless of whether or not it actually makes it on the website. Maybe I'll post it here sometime. 
7. I had spring break wherein I read the entire Hunger Games series and The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. If you are Facebook friends with me, you know that because I could NOT shut up about it.
8. I've begun to entertain the idea of getting my PhD in Gender studies so I could teach and maybe actually get a job. 
9. I bought myself Margaret Cho tickets for a graduation present for June. And I'm pumped.
10. We celebrated Ben's 24th birthday! (March 23)

Plus some other stuff. Needless to say, I could have written a lot on any of those things. but I didn't. So here I am saying that I'll keep trying. Hopefully the next blog will be something about how I've gotten a kick ass job. or something along those lines. but until then...I'll just keep tryin'.


Oh Hey There 2012...

It's a new year and as much as I loved this...

I was really ready for the year to be over.
The last few months were a bear and really challenged me both intellectually and emotionally. I like a challenge just as much as the next person but I was pretty close to a limit.

Christmas was rough because sometimes family is just unrelenting but overall this break has been wonderful.
Plus I got a really great sweatshirt which I've been pretty much living in:

Ben was off for awhile - he's back at school now which is sad but it was great while it lasted...
Josh is home - well, not right now...but in general...
Court is having babies - yes. 2. two. TWO. wow.

2011 was when Ben and I got married. I'm in my dream practicum right now, doing what I love doing, working with people that I love, I've found my perfect group of friends 
(many of whom will be leaving me in 2012...lesigh)
I'm prepared to move forward and become a real adult in the next few months 

I don't believe in resolutions because I don't want to limit myself to bettering myself once a year.
 I believe in goals. 
and my goals are:
*Finish my sketchbook (which I have to send in SOON. eep.)
*Be healthier
*Work harder in school. I mean, really.
*Be a better partner
*Be a better friend
*Be a better daughter
*Be a good pen pal (that means you, Audrey)
*Do some stuff in the 'Lou that I haven't yet (Arch, I'm comin' atcha)
*Find a job
*Blog more
*Be introspective (and write about it)
*read more books that aren't assigned for class
*read more stuff that is assigned for class

...and you know, morestufflikethat

happy new year, everyone. be well. be happy. be nice.