Master...

Welp. I've completed my master's program. In two weeks, I'll walk across a stage, again, receive a diploma {cover}, get hooded, shake hands, and probably cry. I'll put three letters at the end of my signature (all the time) and I'll feel successful. Well, almost. I've got a little birdie in my ear that keeps saying "Kayt, what you really want is a PhD." And I just keep flicking it away...because I need a break. I'm pretty mentally and emotionally exhausted. Especially after the past few months. So I'm looking forward to May 18th.



But I'm not looking forward to the inevitable good-byes which seem to be starting all too soon. I don't deal well  with separation. At all. Partly because I think that I love a bit too fiercely for my own good. And partly because, well, my life has been filled with all sorts of untimely separations. And my feelings get hurt a bit too easily, probably. Which is why I keep saying that I'm just going to collect all of my people and keep them with me. All of the time.

It probably doesn't help that there is just the large UNKNOWN looming in front of me. The type of unknown that begs the question: was it worth it? and did you make the right decision two years ago? I feel REALLY GOOD about where I am right now. But sometimes I don't feel so good. Like when I think about how maybe I should've gotten a masters in higher education. or something like that. But I am where I need to be. I trust in that.

So for now, I'm going to read some books that I borrowed from the library/books I've been waiting to read for awhile.* And I'm going to be okay with where I am. Because one day, things that need to happen, will happen. and I'll be okay then...

*Books are:
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
Jazz - Toni Morrison
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Jonathan Safran Foer
Atypical: Life with Asperger's in 20 1/3 Chapters - Jesse Saperstein
The Whipping Girl: Julia Serano

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Guest Blog: AWESOME EDITION

So some of the readers of this blog may know that before I started my work in Diversity and Social Justice education, I worked predominantly in Sexual Assault Education. It was in Sexual Assault Education that I honed my skills as a facilitator because, as one may imagine, facilitating about sexual assault and rape at a Big Ten university where more than 1 in 5 undergrads* were part of the Greek system is not the easiest feat. 


While I no longer work in sexual assault, I am always drawn to critical pieces about sexual assault and rape culture and the efforts that are being made to address those issues. I am SO SO SO HAPPY to be able to share one of those pieces with you. You should count yourself lucky because this piece is about to get leaked to Feministing and Ms. blogs but you'll be able to say that you saw it here first before it was huge - and I know how you hipsters like to say shit like that.


About the author: JS is a fabulous woman who I not only worked with in Undergrad but also who I consider one of my greatest friends and mentors. She is sarcastic, funny, but also one of the most genuine and sincere women that I have ever met. She has one of the fiercest personalities and she uses it almost daily, which is why I love her so. 


*I should say that Greek Life doesn't inherently mean Sexual Assault and I'm in no way trying to taint Greek Life with Sexual Assault. However, there is certainly a fraternity culture that provides resistance to teaching about rape culture and sexual assault. Some of the most active male allies I've ever met are upstanding Greek men who have also encountered resistance from their frat brother. justsayin'.




So without further ado, JS and her Thoughts on SlutWalk:



As a sexual violence prevention educator, I find hope in the grassroots activism and passion that radiates from Slutwalk.  Anything that gets people talking, that breaks down the myths and reduces victim shaming is a step in the right direction. This activism is so badly needed in a society that still justifies violent victimization by what women are wearing or how they choose to spend their Friday nights.  The photos of women clad in sneakers, jeans and comfy t-shirts carrying signs that read “this is what I was wearing when I was raped” make my heart ache.  But after reading all of the discussion, I’m left wondering if there’s a place for me in Slutwalk.
Much has been written about Slutwalk, and the problematic nature of the word “slut.”  Many women of color, in particular, have made it clear that they don’t want to reclaim the word slut because of the way their sexuality has been constructed throughout America’s racist history.  As a woman in a wheelchair, I have a very different problem: the word slut has never been mine to reclaim.

While women all over the world are waiting for people to stop seeing them as sex objects, women with disabilities are still waiting to be seen at all.  We are less than a woman, somehow-- less than “slut”. Too often we are viewed as pitiable, pathetic, and devoid of desire.   We could never be “sluts.”  If we are “lucky enough” to have partners, they get congratulations and pats on the back from strangers when they “take us out” in public.  People applaud their generosity and selflessness for taking care of us, assuming they get nothing in return (certainly not sex or satisfying intimate connections).  People imagine we are loved “in spite of” our disabilities rather than for all the other things we are.  We struggle to find doctors who will monitor our pregnancies and help deliver our babies because it’s “dangerous” for us to be mothers.
   
But that doesn’t mean we’re any safer.  Women with disabilities face extremely high rates of sexual assault.  More than half of us will be raped and studies estimate that the figure is closer to 70 to 80 percent for women with developmental disabilities. We’re also more likely than women without disabilities to face multiple perpetrators.  Sometimes, these perpetrators even tell us we should be grateful, that they have done us a favor.  After all, no one else is going to want us.  Despite these astronomical rape figures we have almost no credibility in the criminal justice system.  No one could imagine why anybody would do that to “someone like us”.  They tell us that we can’t be trusted to tell our own stories of terror.  They speculate about our ability to even understand what has been done to us. 

This is why it’s absolutely crucial for women with disabilities to have a voice in SlutWalk.  While “reclaiming slut” isn’t for me, I think SlutWalk should be about more than that.  It’s about demanding that all women be allowed to embrace their sexuality, voice our outrage when someone violates us, and be heard loud and clear when we do it.    



Thanks, JS, for these powerful words that give me something to think about. 


Have I mentioned how lucky I am to have the people I have in my life?

Fair Warning: This will be a political blog

So the government is approximately 4 and a half hours away from a shut down. That says something about the place we're in. When we've become too stubborn and ideological to see logical compromises. While my heart hurts because of the repercussions this shut down will have for minority and underprivileged populations, I think that this could be the reality check that 'Merica needs.

I think this could be the opportunity to show that, as a matter of fact, we aren't "hot shit," if you know what I mean. We aren't World Saviors, we aren't Better Than Everyone, we aren't Democracy Leaders because, you know what, our current leaders don't know what democracy means. A bold statement, I know, but in some ways it's true. There's this ethnocentric assumption that because we are born in the supposed "Land of the Free" that we automatically operate under democratic assumptions and ideals but that's really not true. These are things that we have to be taught and we have to learn how to execute. And with textbook reforms and muddled lessons in civics because of necessary budget cuts to education - we might never have the opportunity to learn how to do that.

We also assume that because we live in a "democratic society" that we are the world leaders and the teachers of democracy. But let's be honest, how many people in this country are well-versed and have experience in starting a democratic society? None. Because WE didn't start this democratic society. It was started 250ish years ago by people who WEREN'T politicians and who WERE humble. They probably wouldn't have accepted $100,000 (or the equivalent at that time) while their military and the rest of the country couldn't pay rent and buy groceries because their pay has been frozen.

They probably also wouldn't have placed the federal budget into an ideological stalemate. Because you know what the founders of this country were good at? (Hint: it's not Christianity) - They were really good at compromise. And real compromise...not that one party folds. Remember when we had people like the "Great Compromiser" - Henry Clay who fought hard to ensure that everyone got a little bit of what they wanted? Who is that guy now? Oh right. He doesn't exist.

So perhaps we need to understand that we fail stuff, too. Let's lay off the gays for supposedly ruining marriage and the Muslims for practicing religion freely in a country where freedom of/from religion/religious persecution was the founding principle and acknowledge that, oh hey, sometimes the white straight male folks (and some white straight females) ain't so great, huh? Because the white. straight, male/female folks are giving themselves a pay check while preventing those women from protecting themselves, preventing clean air from even having a chance to exist in our beloved country, and preventing free thought from being thunk, and if that's democracy...it sucks. A lot.

I'm grateful for the freedoms I have. I'm grateful that I can say these things without fear of persecution. I'm grateful I'm a woman who has had the opportunity to go to school (heavily relying on Federal loans, yes). But just because I'm grateful for my state of being, that doesn't mean I'm happy and complacent with the state of being for others. Because that's what being a social worker means: acknowledging the privilege that you possess but not being content with that privilege because SOMEONE ELSE didn't have that opportunity. AND THAT'S NOT FAIR. THAT'S NOT JUSTICE. THAT'S NOT FREEDOM. It is my responsibility to create fairness, justice, and freedom  in every way I can...even if that is just words on an infrequently read blog.

I know I just blogged but...

no news is better than the news of the day.

Today has been an awful day for women and those sympathetic to people in general. Feministing does a pretty good job of explaining the articles and expressing the outrage...but yet I still feel the need to put in my two cents...because, well, that's what I do.

Let's start with the child who was gang-raped by so-called "men." Who could possibly think that an 11 year old girl ever deserves this?  Who could think that an 11 year old girl would even know that this would be a possibility? Who could have sympathy for the 18 (EIGHTEEN) men who did this? The New York Times and the citizens of Cleveland, Texas (Oh Texas, how little faith I continue to have in you). The victim-blame that is abound throughout this article is disgusting. It's disgusting EVERY TIME there is victim blame for something as horrendous and unforgivable as rape - however, there's a certain level of pathology that is reached when this blame is targeted at a child who can't even get into a pg-13 movie. There should be mass amounts of shame placed upon those citizens..or better yet, how about some education about what it means for an 11 year old girl to be gang-raped and it's her mother's fault that she was there in the first place. Maybe we should all share a bit of that shame, too. Because after all, we all live in this place called America where, in all honesty, we can expect those statements from individuals. Perhaps if we own that, we can begin to fix it. [perhaps not] We might not like to take that blame, but similar to privilege, if we other the perpetrators in a way that places ALL of the onus on the individual than we do nothing to affect change within the larger culture...

...the larger culture that says it's still okay to kill a person because they seem different/wrong. Granted, this takes place in Arkansas and well, things work a little different there. For instance, hate crimes  apparently don't exist/don't matter there. It would be nice if they didn't exist and that is why there is no need for legislation/protection - but this woman is a perfect example of how, in fact, Arkansas, a place where a town is proudly named after a former KKK member, breeds hate for difference. And then continue to rub it in the face of the trans community by ignoring the proper pronouns through police reporting and then, subsequently, new reporting. (Because in no way does news reporting or journalism include checking the facts on your own - wait...that doesn't seem right..ugh) What is it that makes it so hard to respect PEOPLE? Just people, regardless of their state of being...whether that aligns with how we think it "should" be...should respect be the basis of ALL interactions? But then again..that might be too simple. and what is respect? I mean, I certainly don't have any respect for those folks down there who have committed huge injustices to this woman (and then fixed it..because of advocacy pressures)...

...speaking of injustices to women...Kappa Sigs at USC have illustrated what is perhaps one of the greatest insults to anyone who has a vagina. I don't even have words for this except that it makes me want to punch puppies in the face. Including this puppy:

...and trust me, that's saying a lot..because I LOVE this puppy. So much.

(also, this is a cute puppy so maybe this whole blog won't be such a downer)...

this all comes in the aftermath of what has been the most low-key and fraught over International Women's Day since IWD came into my knowledge (approx. 4 years ago). I don't know if it the current political state of our State (yes) or if it is simply that I'm on a campus that seems apathetic, at best (yes) but it is sort of disturbing. It's times like these that I crave my old stomping ground so I can rant and rage with several people in one setting (WRC/SJED) and walk out not feeling better but rather feeling validated. Instead - I rage with friends via FB and Blahg...and hope that typing it out will release some rage..

we need help, people. this whole place...needs help. i wanna help..who's with me?

"Community"

and no, I'm not talking about the show (though I really love that show...a lot..check it out on NBC Thursdays).

I'm talking about what "community" means. I think it is a term (like many others) that gets thrown around a lot. At school, we call ourselves the Brown Community. We have communities of faith, communities of color, and the one that is sitting on my heart in particular tonight, is the LGBT community.

Community suggests some sort of commonality - commonality in language, heritage, geography, or some other shared experience. However, I wonder what happens when communities form around hardship. What happens when that commonality is simply common marginalization? I mean, obviously we've seen where marginalization leads to revolution leads to (a sort of) unity. But what are the dysfunctions when people outside of the community begin identifying a community (know what I mean?) What happens when a bunch of straight folks identify those who (for whatever reason) aren't accepted in the straight "community" (and doesn't that sound strange to place an agent identity in a community) and label them as another community despite their differences - specifically the radically different situations presented to gay men vs. lesbian women vs. gay women vs. bi-affectional folks vs. bisexual folks vs. transgender folks vs. transsexual folks vs. every other possible label you can attach to an individual. Is it different if those folks identify themselves as a community - ignoring those vast differences themselves? HOW DOES THAT WORK?

And the to further complicate things - what about people who fall into shades of even murkier gray (as if they haven't already been discussed)? But now, I'm thinking about myself personally. This blog was started to discuss some issues that I think about in my head. I've been pretty bad at actually working those things out here because (un)fortunately I have tons of people who are great at mediating some of that work for me or it simply becomes irrelevant.

In some circles I identify as heteroqueer.
"Kaytlin, what the hell does that mean?"
I have no f*cking clue (sometimes). But actually I've been evolving the definition more and more to reflect what it means for me. which is honestly both the beauty and the bane of labels.
Here's what I used to say:
Heteroqueer means that I'm in a long-term relationship that is heterosexual (hence the hetero) however, I don't want to negate that I may/may not find other genders attractive.

that seemed like a pretty good definition for the year I was first trying on that label. but now. it doesn't fit. Because, while I think all of that is true...my relationship (that heterosexual one) is pretty solid. actually, like, rock/diamond solid. So expressing other attractions that I may/may not have seems petty because it's likely that they won't mean much. That being said...identifying as just straight doesn't feel right either. and I still (for some reason) feel like heteroqueer defines me.
Here's why:
I present as sorta genderqueer meaning I have some stereotypically masculine features. I'm not petite, I'm (certainly) not effeminate, I have short "butch-like" hair, and other typical (and admittedly problematic) "features" - if you will - i.e. I can be extremely crass and un-ladylike (whatever that means).
Further, while I am in a long term straight relationship and Ben identifies as straight (though when I presented the idea of heteroqueer as a label, he didn't disagree), not identifying with the queer "commmunity" -- what does that mean -- seems odd. Especially because so many of my best friends and those that have inspired me to do well have identified with that space/label.

So here's the dilemma:
If I, someone who COULD, in fact, place myself in the AGENT "straight community", choose not to and instead identify with the "LGBTQIA/Queer/Non-straight" community - does that cheapen a sense of community. What if people are already doing that? What if people are being placed in that community that don't want to be there? What if people are being placed in a community that don't belong there? What does community mean? What does it mean, as a social worker or as ANYONE, to be a community builder? What are you building? Is is a superficial space in which identifying individuals is simply made easier for outsiders? Will people naturally form their own small niches which could be construed as communities? Is that the same sort of community?

And what about co-opting an identity (which is sometime what I feel like with my own made up identity)? If that is something that I truly do identify with and yet I'm rejected by the culture/community that I feel that best fits in because I am choosing that label...whose fault* is that? Should I have known that I didn't belong there? Is being heteroqueer still too straight? Is there a line?

Basically what I'm saying is that I question (clearly, because of the amount of ? in this blahg) the notion of community. I question whether there are things that outside people (read: social workers) can do to improve quality of a community that is in distress/need - because while clearly we can help individuals and those individuals will go back to their self-designated niches  - truly helping a "community" (other than simply a geographic location) seems unattainable to me. and perhaps futile.

I should state that I am a macro person - so the sense of community building is along the line I want to go down, however, I think these are important questions to ponder. Also, there may be a simple solution to this - or you may say, "duh Kaytlin, of course we help...we do X, Y, & Z and it's great" - and perhaps it is that simple...but I just needed to think about it.

*I'm not stating implicit "fault" - I'm just saying that in terms of who needs to deal with it...which side accepts the burden?

ponderous moments by kaytlin

hugs,
kaytlin

whoa, another revamp.

I apologize for lack of posts and then changing it up on you every time. Though this time was a total surprise and it makes me pretty happy :). And I also apologize that because I don't blog often (enough), my blogs end up like small novels. feel free to stop reading at any point that you become bored.

((still here? COOL!))

What have I been up to lately, you ask? (Probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyway).

Well, I've been...
--getting 40-hour training for Illinois Rape Crisis Services. It's a pretty intense process and it leads me back to where I started this whole journey of social justice work and activism. It's sort of baffling to me how I've changed so much over the past 3 years and yet I find myself coming full circle to rape education, prevention, and survivor support. And the fact that I can find myself still so positive about all of that is extraordinary to me (particularly given my attention span). It also lets me think a lot about the ways in which my work is so greatly shaped by the fact that I started out in rape education. You see, for me, rape education and prevention is a tangible thing. It's not as abstract or theoretical as oppression theory or even the "simple" isms (i.e. racism, sexism, classism, ageism, etc.). It's something that happens and something should and needs to be done about it. That is not to say that the isms shouldn't be eradicated either, but I'm just saying that rape seems to be something sort of, kind of manageable (but yet, so overwhelmingly not. ugh). This tangibility and the fact that every rape is someone's individual story (whereas sometimes instances of an ism could be seen as something less individual, more institutional, etc.) leads me to approach all of these things with a sort of empathy as though I'm dealing solely with individuals. This may or may not be a problem. I don't know yet. it probably is a problem, or at least will be in the long run because the way I think about it requires me to assign a problem to someone/something I care about. Selfish, much? Anyway, re-approaching* the issue of rape from this stance has been sort of eye-opening and overall good (I think) for me to re-evaluate the ways in which I should approach the other issues I care about.

--Reading blogs...like it's my job (which in some ways, it sort of is). I REALLY enjoy blogs. I enjoy blogging. I enjoy everything about blogs, from the little tidbits of information you can glean unwittingly to the tone of blogs (which very much mimics my style of living - pretty casual and conversational). But sometimes those tidbits of information on blogs make me RAGE. Especially some of the articles on sites like Feministing.com and other feminist sites which highlight both wins in the realm of feminism but also EPIC FAILS in the fight to maintain a Just society. For instance, first thing this morning, Facebook notified me about this article on female genital mutilation that is occurring not only in the US, but IN THE NAME OF RESEARCH!? WHAT........THE..............FUCK! (and I say that with utmost respect to my readers). Seriously?! This article went viral through my newsfeed where every one of my Vagina Monologues Ladies picked up on it in outrage (clearly). It's this sort of shit that we think happens elsewhere and we spend time speaking out against when our own (probably overpaid) scholars our instigated and perpetuating it here....FUUUUUUUUUUUhhh. If this isn't enough to incite riots in the street (which it should) - Feministing also linked to Louisiana's new legislation require ultrasounds before abortions. Yes, please make this ultimately life-changing and excruciating decision (which in all likelihood was not a split second decision) that much more difficult for someone to bear. please. BUT not to bring you all down with such crap nonsense, there are also highlights, like a particularly intelligent woman who is graduating high school while doing an experiment that includes Seventeen Magazine. If you haven't read her blog about this, do it. You'll probably learn something (and fight adultism at the same time. Two-for-one - WIN!).

--Planning our move. We're moving in mid-July to a new (unfurnished) place. Which then requires us to make large purchases like a sofa, washer and dryer, desks, etc. On top of all of that, we are moving from 2 different locations, really. Here in Champbana and also our parents' houses. This complicates a lot of things, too. Not unmanageably, but just enough that it is kinda sorta stressful and requires a decent amount of foresight.

--more WEDDING stuff. I know, the phases of my wedding "planning" are so sporatic, it's ridiculous. BUT I have been doing some research on photogs (though I would love for Ms. Crystal Wasson to do our wedding as her first). I've also been scoping out some dress designs that I may or may not wanna wear. And also just trying to think about how we want the day to feel (which includes incessantly scoping out reception sites...annoying). This also includes reading A Practical Wedding (the blog that I've been doting on) habitually.  Two years seems like such a long time (especially when I consider that the grad program that I haven't even started yet is a whole 2 years long).

--Working. At the job that I absolutely love and will miss dearly. Not because of the work so much - though I must say that getting to work within the realm of social justice, even if it is just scheduling rooms to have meetings about social justice is extremely rewarding work (for me...not for everyone) - but rather because of the people I get to work with daily. Seriously. My boss sent me a Dinosaur Comic which then led to me spending hours looking at more Dinosaur Comics. And that's just the sort of relationship we have. Which I love. It's going to suck when I have to have a legit business professional relationship with a boss (read: non-friendship) - I don't even know if I am capable of such things. Hurumph.

--Growing up. This is the worst part about what I've been doing which sort of encompasses all of the last points (duh) but also includes things like meeting up with friends from college for the last (or close to last) time before we all go our separate ways and figuring out budgets and savings. Planning for the next couple of years and realizing that, holy shit, I won't be living at Mom's house for a month over winter break and I may not be spending the night there on Christmas Eve. What?! I'm going to be inviting my parents and Ben's parents over to our place for dinners. Like adults do. We're going to have an office in this new place. *shudder*..*squeal*..I'm scared but super excited. What does that even mean? Is this a condition I should get checked out?

Anyway- I've decided that these novellas are ridiculously long, if not unfocused. I'm going to attempt (and I say this loosely) to make a list of blog topics. And perhaps institute a weekly or bi-weekly schedule. We'll see how this works out. be patient. I'm bad at habit forming and routine.

*Not that I ever left or stopped caring about the issue of rape, I just distanced myself for a bit. It's hard to do all of that work at once.

that's it. Whew! Did you make it! Did you skip some? (Be honest, it doesn't sting too bad).
Always and forever,
kaytlin

A little break from weddings...

We've taken a little hiatus from wedding planning period. I haven't even looked at wedding stuff in a while - though we did get all of our invitations and thank you notes purchased, thank you very much.

No, this blog is about the wonderful evening I just spent with Jessica Valenti (from the blog Feministing) and Jaclyn Friedman, the co-editors of Yes Means Yes, a kickass anthology of pro-sex, anti-rape work. Now, not only are these women awesome and inspiring but they were really funny and gave me some things to think about.

First of all, I should start out by saying that not much in the presentation/discussion was something I hadn't already heard/seen/read somewhere before. That being said, it was presented excellently. It also makes me wonder, as someone who is an anti-rape activist/advocate (can you tell I'm loving the backslash this evening?) what I have to contribute to the body of work that is out there. Is there something I can contribute or will I simply be a broken record of things that have already been said? I think there are things I can contribute for sure, but what form will that come in? I always joke that I want to infiltrate the school systems with feminist thought and comprehensive sex ed (which they both talk about a lot and made my heart smile), but is that enough. What if I want to reach more people? Will I have something unique to say? Does that even matter? What about the work I'm doing here (work being a slightly dramatic word for blogging)? Does that count? My ideas aren't really new - but they might be to someone, right? Ugh, the questions.

It also is simultaneously frustrating and awe-inspiring to be surrounded by "forward thinkers" - those that challenge the rape culture because I want to have ideas, but damnit, they are already taken. haha..I'm just kidding, kind of...but it does make me wonder where my voice is.

Secondly...and this may answer a lot of my questions that I just posed to myself but then again, I could again be repeating something that is already going on somewhere else...Jaclyn said something tonight that made me think about anti-rape organizations and the work they do and how, in order to really begin the shift of rethinking masculinity as a culture and to begin dismantling something we've had in place for so long, we need a "critical mass" of people to join the cause.

which leads me to my next train of thought - THAT SHOULD BE A ORGANIZATION'S NAME!..it makes perfect sense. I want to start a group (perhaps at Wash U when I go there, instead of trying to do something here in 2 weeks) called Critical Mass. the mission would be to inform and educate as many people as possible to help the culture reach a critical mass of people working again sexual violence. I think it's catchy. and we would have shirts - possibly hoodies (that's why people join groups anyway).

Tonight also made me reflect on some of the work I've been fortunate enough to do surrounding sexual violence, but it also made me reflect on the work I haven't done, or have fallen out of. It's weird to think that I got where I am now, doing the work I do because of sexual violence prevention education. It was my in to all things social justice. Now, I do very little work that directly impacts sexual assault. Which makes me sad, in a way. Sure, I'm doing a lot of social justice things, being an ally and all which helps the overall culture of oppression which feeds into rape culture BUT what am I doing to actively address this specific issue of violence that got me started in the first place? Why have I become disconnected? MORE QUESTIONS..

Anyway, it was a wonderful evening with a wonderful chat full of disturbing images and examples of the culture I live in. Personally, I think things like Purity Balls and Abstinence contracts should be outlawed - Purity Balls reek of pedophilia to me. I am disturbed by our society's simultaneous infatuation and fear of sex. Being that wishy-washy about something can't be healthy. As well as the fact that the information that our society presents in biased by gender.

Which is why I like the idea of a feminist wedding and raising feminist children (of which there were 2 before the presentation tonight, you can follow the dad that brought them there on twitter at rebeldad) - we can start with these things that are taken for granted in society : patriarchal weddings, gendering our children, and make a difference to someone, somewhere.

I often wonder if I will ever make a difference in someone's life like my mentors have done for me. I can only hope...but who says you can't start with your own kids, right?

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the rape culture, feminism, and gendering for now. I need to go read some crossdressing memoirs now...
hugs,
kaytlin